Category Archives: comedy

district 9

“Wikus van der Merwe is precious”:

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these are some brilliant ideas for preventing sexual assault

sexual assault prevention tips guaranteed to work. they seem like they would really help.

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

acapella groups cover pop songs

i hate to admit it, but i’ve been watching/listening to college acapella on youtube through out the day. the beatboxers are cool! and they’re also very entertaining, in my opinion.

here are some of my fav’s so far:

“untouched” (the veronicas), by MIT resonance — it was the first one that i came across, was kind of amazed by the concept, and really liked it.
“misery business” (paramore), by socal vocals — awesome!
“aerials” (system of a down), by caltech fluid dynamics — they seem pretty hardcore
“cry me a river” (justin timberlake), by UO on the rocks — really, really funny. they have a dance routine going on. if you’re going to watch one, watch this one.

a bunch from NYU boys:

“bye bye bye” (nsync) by NYU mass transit — dance moves too!
“burnin’ up” (jonas brothers) by NYU mass transit
“i kissed a girl” (katy perry) by NYU mass transit — the guy even looks like katy perry

so, gonna fail physics tomorrow. waaa.

betty bowers

“Betty Bowers is America’s Best Christian, and she’s not afraid to tell everyone else how to live”. here, she explains traditional, bible-based marriage. it’s hilarious. via skepchick.org.

“a bible-based marriage is: one man… and frankly enough booty to make a Mormon compound seem quaintly understaffed”

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ex-christian.net

so there is this website/blog called exchristian.net that offers support for those who have abandoned the christian religion. it has this really great article comparing the move from christianity to atheism/skepticism to the move from windows to linux.

why i moved to linux” by neal stone.

But once in a while someone, like me, sees the truth and realizes there is an alternative to following the crowd blindly. We then sit down and totally replace our Windows with Linux. We discover a true freedom that sets us apart from the rest. We find life easier to live and enjoy and discover others who have also found this truth. No more lies from the “company”, no more bugs or unexplained issues that people choose to ignore or accept as part of the great plan.

xkcd math

xkcd.com/verizon. i like how i was able to figure out the math on the check, thanks to phys 227.

weeds

i’ve been watching weeds non-stop. here’s a funny clip about the iraq war and a colorfully-worded masturbation lesson.