memories that rise up like bile in my throat

i’m getting obsessive about homework again. no! i have no life! >.<

i think i overreacted when i got the message that tim didn’t assume i’d be visintg today. just now, i read an INTJ community post about how people like me are hypersensitive the possibility of rejection. yes, it felt like abandonment. abandoned once again, must discard sentiments, cutting up this friendship… blah blah blah… it’s a good thing that i am reminded of my dad whenever this happens. otherwise, i don’t know if i could tell myself that i’m being unreasonable. it must be hard for other people to imagine why i tend to assume the worst of
friendships. it’s why i’m so distant with people.

i often experience the motivation behind repressing memories. i can sorta ‘meta-cognate’ and witness myself burying the unpleasant memories that rise up like bile in my throat.

++

“rich inner life”. that’s the answer i was looking for.

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