facial tectonics

i don’t know why i’ve never noticed this before, but it’s probably due to the fact that i’m used to seeing my face in the mirror every day.

recently — like, as of yesterday — i’ve noticed that my face has a systematic asymmetry. not simply asymmetric, for i’ve always known that my face was highly asymmetric (which goes for the rest of my body, and is another great excuse for why i’m a lousy athlete) — but consistently so. i’ve never noticed that the entire right side of my face just… droops. the right side of my nose is lower, the right side of my mouth, my right eyelid, my right cheekbone… everything is lower. i can even feel it now that i’m aware of it. my eyebrow is the exception, since i can do the eyebrow-lift on that side only.

i’ve always liked the left side of my body better — my left eye eyelid opens more than the right one, and i also prefer my left hand and foot, plus i’m more flexible with my limbs on the left side. so, it doesn’t surprise me that this is the reason why i’ve always preferred the left side of my body. i even cut my hair better on the left side, but that is beside the point.

i don’t know if this right-side droop is a recent development, or if it’s always been this way and i’ve just never noticed it since the dissipation of my baby fat is five years retarded. i wonder if this “great right droop” (think: “great vowel shift”) is the result of facial tectonics. a gradual, imperceptible and inevitable transformation that took place over an extended period of time and is finally manifesting itself on the pre-existing fault line that is the right side of my face. it certainly wasn’t a sudden geological event like an earthquake or a volcanic eruption, since i don’t recall ever being hit on that side of my face (though the other side has been hit by a spiraling football), and i sleep on both sides of my body. no, i think the development was a result of facial tectonics. natural geological erosion. it seems more like gradual muscle atrophy than anything else.

i can’t say i’m worried, unless this results in the obvious half-face degeneration that i saw in one of the women who works in the experimental college. her condition seemed more likely to be the result of a car accident, or something.


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