music is my thought-inhibitor

“i don’t understand.”

“there’s nothing to understand.” we both know this already. “why are you so obsessed with it?”

“because i want to matter? because failure is analogous to death?”

“so. are you afraid of death now?”

“i didn’t think i was.”

we pause to ponder this change of state.

i throw out my favorite quote. “‘only a loser can sing the azures’, you know. ‘only a loser can truly see.'”

she looks at me. “i know what that line means to us.”

it doesn’t satisfy her. it’s not quite the answer she was looking for.

i realize what the difference is.

“you are afraid of death because you have now invested something in life.”

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